Write Before Christmas and make sure it's a Hallmark card | D

Hallmark Channel Premiere | November 17, 2019

In this movie, Jessica lives in a fire hazard (due to excessive Christmas decorating) and is dumped at what she thinks is a proposal dinner by her super unlikeable boyfriend. It's basically Legally Blonde meets Christmas. Except, instead of going to Harvard to get her man back, Jessica sends a bunch of Hallmark greeting cards to people who have been important in her life, because she does care enough to send the very best.

Make sure you get the logo, okay?

I didn't care for this movie, mostly because I feel I just watched a two-hour long greeting card commercial. I get that greeting cards are important to Hallmark, and I'm not anti-Christmas card or anything, but this was like sitting through one of those timeshare presentations. With the long, lingering camera angles on the Hallmark logo and each new character popping up their card with a flourish, it was a bit much.

This is the Happy Holidays Snowman Band Mini 3D Pop-Up Christmas Card available at your local Hallmark store for $5.99

This is the Tree With Presents 3D Pop Up Christmas Card available at your local Hallmark store for $12.99

Subtlety is not your strong suit, Hallmark

Hallmark gets an A on: Torrey DeVitto; Chad Michael Murray; clarifying the difference between an optician and an optometrist - I truly learned something here; cute soldier romance; funny blind date with the actress; reference to It's a Wonderful Life; the dog

Hallmark gets a D on: shameless Hallmark ad placement; text message pop-ups on the screen (please stop doing this Hallmark); Jax's cringeworthy house

Grade: D

* Note Grading Scale:

A = This is seriously a good movie. It will remain on my DVR for the season.

B = Totally exceeded my expectations. I'm happy to recommend.

C = This is an average Hallmark movie. Good holiday fun.

D = I'm disappointed... but I watched it. Why not?

F = I actually had a hard time getting through this one. And that says a lot.