A Merry Christmas Match... that happened before Halloween | C+

* Hallmark Movies and Mysteries Premiere | October 25, 2019

"This has been fun, but I've got a Peloton class to teach." "Yeah, me too."

This is Hallmark's first premiere of the season, and it happened on October 25th. I have opinions on this. It's not cold outside. I am still working on Halloween costumes. The seasonal clothes have not yet finished their migration. It is too soon.

Despite the unfortunate decision to start spreading Christmas cheer before we have carved our pumpkins, I watched this movie. There were many things about it that I enjoyed. And then there were other things.

This is a typical Hallmark plot: small town vs. big city (spoiler- the big city actually wins in this one), a family business is in danger of closing its doors, wise parents encourage their grown children to follow their dreams despite the fact that they have no guaranteed job or place to live, there is a chance meeting followed by romance, and there is a dog (granted, it is a very ugly dog.) I enjoyed the cute banter and witty dialogue. There were even some literary references, which I appreciated. (Many, many references to star-crossed lovers that almost worked.)

My biggest problem with this movie is that it is not at all relatable. The actors all look like Peloton instructors, the wardrobe is decidedly designer, and once the setting turns to LA, it is very LA. Buying a winery in Temecula? Asking your housekeeper to pour you a glass of wine? Wearing a designer hoodie with diamond earrings? Explaining your relationship away with the phrase: "Her parents buy properties from my family, that's all." Totally normal.

Hallmark gets an A on: Witty banter; chemistry between the two leads; discussion about Santa's reindeer being female (I fact-checked this, and it led me to some interesting information, so I thank Hallmark for the education); cute snowball fight; making antiques cool again

Hallmark gets a D on: Beginning Christmas movie premieres on October 25th; basing a plot around LA's Hottest Holiday Bachelor (What is that exactly? Why would a bachelor be a Holiday bachelor?); Lines like: "It's nothing that a couple glasses of wine and a massage at the resort and spa won't fix."

Grade: C+

* Note Grading Scale:

A = This is seriously a good movie. It will remain on my DVR for the season.

B = Totally exceeded my expectations. I'm happy to recommend.

C = This is an average Hallmark movie. Good holiday fun.

D = I'm disappointed... but I watched it. Why not?

F = I actually had a hard time getting through this one. And that says a lot.